“There is so much to say. Let me begin by saying I received the combat action medal from the Gulf War, I also served in the Somalia war – but nothing has been more stressful than caring for a mother with dementia alone. I’ve been doing so for over 6 years. As mom’s condition worsened, she found herself wandering. Concerned strangers would call the police to help her find her way home and calls from the police became frequent. I’ve always tried to make mom’s home a safe haven by compensating, modifying her surroundings, anything I could think of to help her keep her dignity and sense of independence alive. But you can only do so much. You can’t cage a person in their own home, family circumstances limited the around the clock watchful eye she needs and now Adult Protective Services are involved from those free rides back to the home in a police car. APS said she could not stay in the home any longer. The visiting nurse that would visit a few times a week said that a 3 night stay at a hospital helps the process of getting her into a care facility. I planned to get her to that hospital one way or the other and begin a complicated process I know absolutely nothing about. The only thing I knew was needing to buy time to figure out what to do to help my mother, I had to find someplace that will accept her and her dementia, learn about Medicare, learn about Medicaid, deal with APS, and the list goes on. If you’re reading this, you may or may not have insight to all the branches these trees have on them. They are confusing, large and unfriendly, and Google isn’t going to help you put together a game plan.
I found and called a random senior advisor that seemed to be popular in my area. The call was very business-like; the person didn’t ask questions about mom or seemingly cared about her story. Seriously. I recall trying to explain mom had little to no money because people had taken advantage of her over the years; yet that advisor told me that I should take out another loan twice the size of what was already there. What a nightmare.
I was at the end of my rope. I didn’t even know what to say in my prayers. The only thing I could pray by now was “Lord, please make a way...Lord, please make a way” and to believe in that.
Someone gave me Jeff’s number. I called him on a Thursday, explained everything I had done and the direction I was headed. He listened. Jeff asked me to meet him at 7AM the next morning. Tucked away in the back of a coffee shop, we began our meeting. Jeff expressed his passion for helping others, that he, too, has a spiritual walk; he explained what resources he has and how we can work together, and made clear his commitment to my family. He didn’t know it, but he helped me find hope that morning.
After 3 hours we had a plan of action. We first needed to find a place for her to stay that is capable of meeting her needs, had a vacancy, and would be willing to work with our financial situation in less than 3 days. Here’s how God can work through people... I already was on over 15 waiting lists at various care facilities. Jeff decided to place his first call to one particular facility he had recently met with and was a new client for him. They had one available bed, could take care of mom’s needs, was willing to work with us, AND is less than a mile from where I work in Indiana. If that isn’t prayer in motion, then what is?
Jeff’s help doesn’t end here. Jeff followed me to the doctor’s office to help make sure mom’s medical records were promptly delivered to the facility later that day [Friday]. He said we would meet me back at the hospital in two hours so he could be there when I brought mom in for her 3 day stay. He was on time waiting at the ER for us. He sat with me and mom through the admitting process. He came back with the family when they placed mom in a room and stayed with us there for hours. I told Jeff I felt there wasn’t any more obstacles headed our way today and asked him to go make his son’s baseball game that he mentioned that morning in conversation. Over the next few days Jeff pointed me in the direction of senior friendly resources like realtors, auctioneers, estate planners etc... while he represented the family with APS, the care facility and others.
Did I mention that Jeff made absolutely nothing from the facility referral? Or that he didn’t ask for other fees for his help? Or anything in this whole thing? Mom wasn’t financially able to self-pay for anything. Jeff knew all this from our meeting but it didn’t stop him for being God’s answer to prayer and sticking by me and guiding us.
Jeff is amazing. He cares, he listens, he helps, and he was our answer to prayer. It has been three weeks to the day since I met Jeff at the coffee shop. He emailed me this morning on my way into work asking how things are. I couldn’t wait to get to the office to write this.
If your situation seems impassable, has you overwhelmed and feeling lost then I highly recommend you reach out to someone- you’re not worth much to anyone when you’re tied up in knots. I highly recommend you give this gentleman a call.
Thank you, Jeff, for all that you have done for me and my mom. Your efforts are selfless, appreciated, and you have blessed us in more ways than you can imagine.”